We’ve all heard at least a little bit about life coaches: they help you set goals and create action plans to help you achieve them. So why would a child need to work with a coach? It seems a little counter-intuitive until you explore the way a good coach will work with your child. Here’s a look at the ways that Third Eye Family Solutions coach, Dr. Jen, works with children and teens.
Assessment
Anytime you bring your child in to see a professional, be it a doctor, therapist, specialist or coach, be prepared to answer lots of questions. At Third Eye Family Solutions we send out a detailed questionnaire for parents to complete before we see your child. If your child is older, says 12-17, we might ask them to fill out certain sections of the paperwork on their own – or fill out an identical form, giving their own perspective to the questions asked. Reading this information before we meet gives us a good idea of the challenges your child & family are facing, and gets us thinking about ways we might work together.
Initial Meetings
Our first meeting usually includes time with both parent/caregiver and child, both separately and together. Because your child’s needs are unique, we need to work with what works best for them. We also want to be sure that they feel safe – some children will gladly skip off to our playroom with our clinicians, while others may need mom or grandma by their side for a while. Any variation of this is ok!
During this meeting, we will chat, play games, and set ground rules for working together. Basic ground rules include things like:
- Everyone must stay safe when we are together
- Sometimes you get to choose what we do, sometimes I get to choose
- What we say is between us, unless there is a fear for safety
- You can say anything you want
A Typical Session
It’s hard to say what’s ‘typical’, especially since we work with a wide range of ages, challenges, and needs.
However, working with Dr. Jen generally follows this flow:
Check-in —— Scheduled activities —— Free choice —— Review assignments/things to think about —— Quick check-in with parent(s)
During a session, we may use art, games, or structured activities that lend themselves to exploration of the challenges your child is facing. Sometimes we just talk, especially if your child is older. The younger your child, the more we will want YOU, as their parent or guardian, to be involved. We also can teach you a variety of activities to help your child calm down, regulate, connect, and reason. When doing this together, you are connecting with your child as well as learning the techniques!
Our Goals Are Your Goals
Again, it’s hard to say what’s typical. Because coaching is goal-oriented, we may set very specific goals such as “reducing melt-downs to once per week” or “telling the truth when asked about homework.” With some children, however, we are simply working to have more connections and better relationships. While “better” is hard to define, it’s easy to feel. We review goals on a regular basis and adjust them as needed. YOUR goals are OUR goals, and we work together to achieve them.
Essentially, coaching with children is very much like a therapeutic intervention. As clinicians, we want to identify the challenges you are facing, set goals so that we know where we’re headed, and create action plans that will get you to those goals. We use play as our primary tool because growing should be fun (and because play is the language of children!), and connection as our way of communicating. We treat each client as an individual and work with their strengths.
We would love to talk to you about your family’s challenges and help you learn the best ways to support your children. We believe it is possible to turn challenges into opportunities, and that you and your family can have a higher quality of life with the valuable skills that we provide to you through coaching or counseling. Give us a call or contact us here via email to schedule a FREE 30-minute exploration call!
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